The other day I had a very simple, yet very profound realization: for several years in my life the only thing that I thought would make me happy was to get as intoxicated as possible.
I generally managed to push myself, work hard, and keep busy. My life was certainly full, just not of the things that would truly bring me happiness and joy. I didn’t invest time in friends and family, I wasn’t connecting with nature, I had no sense of purpose.
I was empty inside and the only way I knew how to fill that emptiness was by consuming. I drank alcohol and smoked a lot of marijuana. These activities generally ended up with my eating, often binge eating. I felt good for a bit, but eventually it just brought me back down to a state of lower vibration.
It is said that, "Nature abhors a vacuum”. If there is emptiness inside of us, nature will find a way to fill it. I didn’t choose how to fill myself up, so the peer pressure, societal norms, and the magic of dopamine worked their magic to show me how to fill myself with intoxicating substances.
Our life is always full, whether it feels good or not. In those days my life was full of drinking buddies I didn’t actually enjoy spending time with, hangovers, and physical and mental stress.
If you want something new, you need to make space for it. For me, removing alcohol created a vacuum in my life, and this time the universe is bringing me friends, love, fun, and joy.
This law works whether you like it or not, so if you have some emptiness in you, make sure you are paying attention to what you are filling it with.